


The Lena Luthor Protection Squad

by hallow777



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Pre-Relationship, SO MUCH FLUFF, So Many Dogs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-09 22:02:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13490679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hallow777/pseuds/hallow777
Summary: After Lena nearly dies- again- Kara decides she needs a guard dog and who better than a Kryptonian canine that just landed on earth?Then they end up with another dog.And another.And another.And another.Or: the one where Larry the hitman really regrets trying to kill Lena.BONUS CHAPTER: The Protection Squad gets some non-canine members and Lena really loves her life.





	1. Chapter 1

It started innocently enough with just a simple comment after saving Lena in the nick of time from her apartment exploding.

“You need a dog or something. Something so that your apartment isn’t empty all day while you are at work, giving people time to sneak in and plant stuff.”

“That’s what I thought I was paying the building security for but apparently not.”

And that was all that was said about it that day once they got busy dealing with the fact that someone had just blown up her apartment and wanted her dead.

* * *

 

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Alex asked.

“Yup.” No, she wasn’t but Lena hadn’t exactly said no to the idea before so it would probably be okay? Right?

“If you say so.”

“It’ll be fine, won’t it Krypto?” Kara said to the little bundle of white fur she was holding and got a yip in response.

Earlier that day, yet another Kryptonian pod had crashed on earth, this time with a canine passenger, one that Kara recognized as the puppy she had given to Kal-El on the day of his birth. The puppy that had mysteriously disappeared a few weeks before Krypton had exploded.

From the looks of it, Krypto had been sent on a trip in the space pod as a test subject before it was deemed safe enough for her and Kal to use. How it managed to land on Earth now, after so many years, no one knew, but Kara was happy.

She hadn’t wanted to give him up to Kal in the first place but her parents had never been too keen on keeping any kind of pets but now things were different.

Plus, he may be small now, not much older than when she last saw him on Krypton, but he would eventually grow into a very fine super guard dog and she knew just who needed one.

* * *

 

“There is nothing I hate more than being stuck in a stuffy board room with a bunch of old white men who- Kara? What’s that?” Lena walked into the apartment and stopped in the middle of taking off her heels when she saw Kara sitting on the couch with something fuzzy on her lap.

“

I don’t know what you’re talking about. This is a pillow?”

“Right.” Lena finished taking off her shoes and then came to sit next to Kara cautiously. Considering that even though it had been months now since her apartment blew up, she was still living with Kara, so she was pretty sure that Kara did not own any pillows like that.

“So if I poke the ‘pillow’ it’s definitely not going to move, right?”

“Um…”

“Kara, what did you do?”

“Okay, here’s the thing…”

Kara explained the whole situation and surprisingly, Lena only slightly protested and immediately gave in when not one, but two, sets of puppy dog eyes were turned on her.

It was only two nights later, when Kara came back from a late night Supergirl adventure, that she found Lena in bed- their bed because there was no way she would have let Lena sleep on the couch for this long and sharing a bed for months was totally something friends did, right?- curled up around Krypto despite her whole “no animals on the bed” rule.

It was adorable and she secretly hoped Lena would never move out but she knew that day was coming. Kara could only find something wrong with every apartment listing Lena looked at for so long before it would be suspicious.

* * *

 

That day came almost exactly four months after Krypto arrived and a total of six months since Lena’s apartment had blown up.

On any given day, it was always a toss up of who would get home first because Lena kept pretty long hours at Catco and then usually swung by L-Corp some days to check on things there too and while Kara usually got off at the same time, there was usually something that needed Supergirl’s attention or she was spending time with Alex.

Today was one day where Lena was already home when Kara got back so Kara was greeted with the smell of dinner cooking and by Krypto.

Krypto was an extremely smart dog and knew that he had to tone it down when greeting Lena so as not to hurt her but he also knew that he didn’t need to hold back when it came to Kara so as soon as she opened the door she heard a loud thud which was likely him jumping down from the bed he was not allowed on even though Lena never enforced that rule.

Then came the sound of his feet rapidly hitting the floor.

Then the sound of him going too fast and slamming into the couch.

Then the sound of him trying to turn but losing traction and hitting the table.

Then finally plowing through the little stand by the front door that held their keys and other items, breaking that before finally leaping into Kara’s arms.

“Hey buddy, how are you? Have you been a good boy? Yes, you are. Yes, you are.”

Krypto was an extremely smart dog but he was also turning into an overgrown lanky, mildly uncoordinated ball of floof.

Lena came out of the kitchen to look at the destruction before her eyes settled on Kara and the large dog she had in her arms with a sigh but didn’t say anything else about it until they were eating dinner.

“So, I’ve been thinking… I think it’s time to find a new place before Krypto manages to destroy every piece of furniture you own.”

“What? No… It’s fine. Really. He’s just a little clumsy, it’s no big deal.” Krypto chose that exact moment to jump up on the couch- that he also wasn’t supposed to be on, Lena really did have a soft spot for the dog- causing the side of it he had broken last week to finally give away and collapse.

Lena just raised an eyebrow at Kara, knowing that that just proved her point.

“He’ll grow into those long legs eventually, he’s still got a ways to go then he will probably be more coordinated?”

“Wait, you mean he’s not done growing?”

Kara nodded her head.

“Christ. Okay, definitely need a bigger place then. One with a yard so he doesn’t have to be walked. Everyone’s already scared of him because he’s so big already.”

And that was that. Kara couldn’t find a good reason for Lena not to move that didn’t involve explaining that she was going to miss living and sharing a bed totally platonically with her best friend.

* * *

 

“Okay, what’s gotten into you? You’ve been all mopey lately. Even Krypto can see it.” Lena asked one evening after Kara had sighed for the fifth time causing Krypto to head butt her in the stomach in concern.

They had been looking at different house listings for half an hour now and getting nowhere, mostly because Kara was not being much help even though she had been so vocal and critical about places they had looked at in the past.

“It’s nothing, sorry. What about that one?”

“It’s clearly something because that’s the one we just talked about ten minutes ago and I spent a good five minutes on how its painted an ungodly shade of yellow and how much I hate it.”

“Oh, sorry.”

Another sigh had Lena shutting the laptop and turning to face Kara on the couch. She would have gotten closer but Krypto was lying between them.

“Kara, don’t make me call Alex and have her find out what’s wrong.”

Lena and Alex got along way too well now and Kara still wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing.

“I… It’s just- I’m going to miss you two. And like I know I can just fly over to wherever you decide to go to see Krypto and I see you at work but it’s just not the same.”

Lena just stared at her with wide eyes and her mouth slightly open in shock. “You… You’re not sick of me being around all the time? I thought surely…”

“No!” Kara wasn’t sure if she had ever answered a question so quickly in her life. “I mean, it’s nice, you know? Not being by myself. Um… yeah.”

Kara trailed off, not knowing what else to say without thoroughly embarrassing herself and silence settled around them for a few minutes before Lena pulled her laptop back onto her lap and opened it up again, quickly scrolling back up through some of the listings they had looked at before.

Now you’ve done it, Kara thought to herself, you’ve scared her off by being clingy. Great job.

“This one has a sunroom.”

“Yeah?” Kara half heartedly replied then looked at the listing a little closer. “Rao, that place is huge.”

“It is. Plenty of room for Krypto to run without smashing into everything.”

“Yeah.”

“Plenty of room for you too, if you want.”

“Yeah… Wait, what?” Kara had been too busy beating herself up for admitting that she was going to miss her that she hadn’t really been paying attention until what Lena said sunk in.

“I imagine the sunroom would be a great room for you to soak up the rays and recharge in after a fight. Plus, it looks like it was used as a green house before too so you can expand your green thumb to more than just what you can grow in the kitchen window.”

“I-”

“And I’m sure Krypto would miss you too and I don’t know if I can handle a sad alien dog. Plus, despite the fact that you float in your sleep, steal the covers, and leftovers don’t exist around you, you make a pretty good roommate and I would miss you too.”

“You’re asking me to move in with you?”

Lena’s cheeks flushed a little but she was in too deep now, she wasn’t going to back down.

“Yes.”

* * *

 

“You’re going to do what??” Alex’s voice was shrill as it rang through the phone.

“I said, I-”

“No, no. I know what you said, I just- what the hell, Kara.”

“Krypto needs more space to run and-”

“So you are moving into a house with the woman you have a huge crush on.”

Kara sputtered and looked around quickly, making sure no one around was trying to listen in on her conversation.

“I do not!”

“You so do.”

* * *

 

The house they had decided on, the one with the sunroom, was in need of some changes like a strong fence for Krypto that would actually stay standing if he ran into it and the balcony to the master bedroom Lena decided she just had to have so it wasn’t until over a month later that all the papers were signed and construction was done so that they could move in.

It took precisely six days after they moved in that Kara gave up trying to sleep in her own room and ended up in the master bedroom with Lena and found out that a balcony was really useful when she had to be Supergirl.

One month and four days after they moved in, Kara flew in the balcony with two bundles in her arms.

“Kara…” Lena had been sitting up in bed, reading over some reports on her tablet but got up and walked over when Kara came in.

“Rao, it was horrible, Lena. They were using them as bait. They are injured but the vet says they are going to be okay but they need special care for a while. Is it okay if we keep them? Even if just for now? Until they get better?” Kara was close to tears as she looked down at the two small bandaged pitbull puppies in her arms. She didn’t want to think what would have happened if she hadn’t stumbled upon the fight while chasing an alien.

“On one condition.”

“Anything.”

“I get to name at least one of them.”

 

* * *

 

Sometimes Kara worries that she pushed Lena into something she never wanted to do. She had kind of pushed Krypto into her life without giving her much say in the matter and Lena had just accepted it.

Then of course, there were the two pitbull puppies they had rescued.

Artemis- the white and brown one Lena named- and Chocolate- the pure dark brown one Kara named- had had a rough start in life but now, at a year old, they were as happy and healthy and big as any other pitbull.

Thank god their house was huge because with one very large dog and two slightly smaller but still big dogs chasing each other through the house, it was chaos.

Lena never complained, even when it became clear that Kara and Krypto were both way too attached to the puppies to be able to give them away.

She didn’t even complain when the puppies got older and even their king sized bed was not big enough for all the dogs and them too because of course she didn’t have the heart to make them stay off the bed even though she bought them all special memory foam dog beds.

Just, one day, Kara came home to Lena supervising a group of men as they constructed a giant frame to house two king sized beds side by side to make one giant bed that took up a good chunk of their bedroom.

“We needed more space.” Was all Lena said when Kara asked about it.

Even with the addition of the new giant bed, they still ended up cuddled up to each other while the dogs enjoyed the rest of the new space but at least everyone was happy.

* * *

 

A year and three months after they moved into the house together, Kara walked in dragging her feet after dealing with a super fast rogue alien for most of the day. She could hear Lena typing away on her computer in her home office but Kara just couldn’t make herself go that far and instead turned and headed into the sunroom where she flopped onto her hammock and just enjoyed the last of the sun’s rays, surrounded by all the plants she had grown.

The gentle swaying of the hammock was lulling her to sleep as she looked out into the backyard and saw the dogs running around.

It was like counting sheep.

One dog.

Two dogs.

She was so close to being asleep, she had to fight to keep her eyes open.

Three dogs.

Four dogs.

Five dogs…

Wait.

Kara’s eyes popped back open and she sat up to really get a good look at the backyard.

No, she wasn’t seeing things. There really were five dogs in their backyard.

There was Krypto, leading the others as usual, Artemis and Chocolate, following Krypto around like doting little sisters, and then there were two more.

One was what she thought might be a bullmastiff that stood just a little taller than Artemis and Chocolate. This one looked like they might have been black at some point but was looking a little grey with age now.

The other one was a small white and black puppy whose breed she wasn’t sure of. It also appeared to only have three legs but despite the missing leg and small size, it seemed to be having a great time playing with the other dogs.

Interesting.

With renewed energy, Kara got up from the hammock and made her way through the house until she came to lean on the doorway to the office where Lena was working.

“So, uh, we seem to have five dogs now.”

Lena didn’t even look up from her computer.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“In our backyard. There’s Krypto, Artemis, Chocolate, and two others.”

“Are you sure they aren’t just pillows?” Lena finally looked up and grinned at Kara who immediately thought back to when she brought Krypto home.

“I… You..?”

“I went by the shelter today to drop off that food that Chocolate won’t touch for whatever reason and some old toys of theirs that they don’t care about anymore and well, I guess you are rubbing off on me. The older one, his name is Sebastian, he had been there for a while they said and he was so sad looking and they were talking about how no one wanted to adopt older dogs and before I knew it I was filling out adoption papers for him then one of the workers walked by holding the little one in her hands because she was afraid of the noise of all the animals in there and I figured I’ve already got one why not another one? Clearly you are a bad influence on me.”

“I love it.” Kara was smiling so brightly it was almost blinding at the fact that Lena had brought home dogs too. Apparently all that worry about pushing these dogs on her was for nothing because it seemed Lena liked them as much as she did.

“I figured you would. I thought it was time for me to bring some home for a change. I really thought I was going to be spending the rest of my day holding the little one, I figured she would be scared of the bigger dogs but after we got home for a while I let Sebastian out to play with the others after making sure they weren’t going to fight then after Krypto finally got enough of smelling Sebastian he came over and sat with his nose against the door and whined until the little one finally went over to see him. They’ve been playing ever since so I guess even with four big dogs it’s not as loud and scary for her as it was at the shelter.”

“Aw, that’s adorable. Wait until I tell Alex it was you bringing dogs home this time. She’s going to get a kick out of this.”

“Please don’t. She will never let me live it down.”

* * *

 

Larry didn’t understand why this was such a high paying job. It was simple. Sure the woman was a Luthor but she couldn’t be that hard to kill. He knew there were others that had failed before but that’s because they all tried to do complicated traps and plots.

But Larry? He liked to keep things real simple like. He didn’t really like getting his hands dirty but in this economy? Whatever pays the bills pays the bills so he’d do it.

The woman was pretty guarded at work so he knew he wouldn’t have a chance there so he decided it would be best to attack at home. She was living with some reporter chick but they both worked during the day so it would be easy. He would just sneak in and wait. He didn’t want to have to kill the reporter, he wasn’t paid to do that, so he had plenty of chloroform if he needed to get her out of the way so he could do his job.

There were no cameras around so with his bag of gear securely on his back, Larry scaled the ridiculously tall and sturdy fence to drop down into the back yard.

He took one step towards the patio door when suddenly there was a thump of two large white paws landing on the glass of the door.

Oh, maybe this wasn’t a great idea, he was starting to think but it was just one pretty large dog.

He could handle that. Maybe if he just found a way to get rid of the dog without opening the door and letting it loose...

Then Larry heard the most terrifying sound of his life.

_Click._

The dog used his nose to unlock the patio door and suddenly a wave of very large, very angry dogs was spilling out the now open door and coming straight for Larry.

He never moved so fast in his life but it still wasn’t quite fast enough as the apparent leader of the dogs latched onto his shoe and shook until his foot slipped out of it and he face planted on the other side of the fence he was climbing.

A sharp bark had him up on his feet, stumbling with only one shoe on all the way back to where his car was hiding with his heart pounding in his chest.

That’s it. He was done. Forget how good the pay was, it was time to find a more respectable job.

He was not doing that ever again.

* * *

 

“Aw, how’s my good puppies, did you have fun today while we were gone?” Kara cooed at all the large dogs that had come to greet them when they walked in.

Lena gave each one a pat on the head before turning back to Kara and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“I’m going to go take a bath, babe. If you want to get the lasagna going for dinner you can come join me.”

Lena walked away with sly grin on her face and Kara smiled happily before turning her attention back to the dogs. Yes, it had taken exactly two years and eight months since they moved into this house together for them to finally admit that maybe things weren’t so platonic between them but it had finally happened and Kara couldn’t be happier.

Krypto came forward and dropped a shoe at Kara’s feet and Kara’s smile got even bigger. It made her extremely happy knowing that between herself and the “Protection Squad” as she had named them, Lena was probably the safest person in the world.

Speaking of Lena… She had a bath to get to.

* * *

 

Years later, Kara and Lena sat in that hammock in the sunroom, enjoying the daylight and watching their young daughter toddle around happily in the backyard, in the middle of their ever growing sea of dogs.

Life was good.


	2. Chapter 2

Some days, Lena couldn’t really believe that her life had turned out the way it had. Growing up as a Luthor was hard, there were so many expectations and standards she had to live up to that made making friends, let alone starting relationships, hard. And the few times she had managed to have any kind of relationship with anyone, it always turned out that they just wanted her for the Luthor name, or it was someone that her mother had her hooks into that was in her life to make sure she did what her mother wanted.

It wasn’t great, but then Lex did what he did and it got even worse. There was a point in her life that she would come home from work to her empty, lonely apartment and drink to try and escape the idea that it was always going to be that way.

Then that thought blew up- quite literally- when her apartment exploded and she ended up living with Kara.

It was wonderful, coming back to a warm apartment knowing that if Kara wasn’t already there, she would be there soon but at the time she hadn’t thought it would last. Surely, Kara would get sick of her hanging around sooner or later.

But that never happened and now? Now it had been almost seven years since they had moved into this house together and she didn’t think she could be any happier.

She had a warm, friendly home to call her own.

She had a very protective pack of cuddly guard dogs to greet her and as if the dogs weren’t enough, they had adopted a couple cats over the years too. They may not greet her like the dogs do but they were the only animals allowed into her work room when she was working on things because the dogs were entirely too clumsy to be in there which is something she had learned the hard way, and it was nice to have one or two of them curled up on the table as she tinkered with whatever new project she had at the time.

She had a very successful business, two actually though she didn’t run Catco anymore, that had been handed over to Kara a few years ago and now she had more time to really focus on L-Corp and all the good it could do again.

Speaking of Kara, she had a very, very wonderful wife that she was completely and utterly in love with. Kara was one of the best things that had ever happened to her. All the animals in the world wouldn’t have made this place feel so much like home if she didn’t have Kara here too.

She also had someone else in her life now that she loved with all her life. Their daughter, Lori.

She was just a little over two and was the cutest, smartest toddler she had ever known and she was so proud of her.

So proud, in fact, that she had taken the chance to leave work early so that she could make Lori’s favorite meal, chocolate chunk- not chip, it had to be chunk to be her favorite- pancakes with strawberries and blueberries on top.

It was a Sunday and Lena generally made it a point to not work on the weekends if she could help it so that she could spend plenty of time with her family but sometimes there was no way around it like today.

Kara and Lori were gone when she got home which wasn’t surprising since Kara had mentioned wanting to take her to the park and a few other places today so Lena just got right to work in the kitchen after she greeted the animals and let them outside to roam in the yard. They probably ate while they were out and about but she knew it wouldn’t matter, Lori definitely got her appetite from Kara.

Krypto was smart enough to get the sliding patio door open and shut it back and he had taught the other dogs as well so generally they came and went as they pleased but today, once they were all outside, Lena locked the door behind them.

Immediately, as soon as Krypto heard the lock click into place, he turned around and started pouting at her through the glass but Lena was sticking to her decision. It was a sunny, very pleasant day outside. They would be fine and she wanted to be able to cook in the kitchen without having to wade through a sea of dogs.

She knew she couldn’t resist the puppy dog eyes for long so she resolutely turned her back to the patio door and went into the kitchen to get started.

In no time, she had pancake batter whipped up and was flipping pancake after pancake, sticking them on a plate in the warm oven to keep them warm until Kara and Lori got back. About halfway through the batter, Lena texted Kara to see when they would be back and found out that they hadn’t actually eaten yet so she threw on some eggs, bacon, and hashbrowns to help satisfy her hungry family.

As the bacon was sizzling away, she heard an odd noise at the window by the kitchen but didn’t think anything of it until she turned towards the window to put a pan in the sink that was under the window a few minutes later.

Then she nearly dropped the pan in shock.

Their backyard had never been flat, it had lots of hills and valleys, nothing too steep but the original builders of this house hadn’t cared much about the backyard so they never had it flattened or landscaped and when she and Kara had moved in, Krypto had had so much fun running up and down the hills they had never had it fixed.

One of the larger hills sloped up towards the house so that a good part of that side of the house was built into the side of that hill, putting the rather large kitchen window just a few feet above the ground on that side.

And now, Lena was sure that every single one of their animals was piled on that hill, staring at her through the window as she cooked bacon.

Their dogs- all seven of them now- were sitting there piled on top of each other with their noses pushed against the glass. Even their cats were there as well, staring intently at her though they weren’t being quite as obvious about it.

But what shocked Lena the most, was the addition of two fluffy brown chickens sitting next to the window looking in.

Chickens.

_Chickens._

“We’re home! Rao, that smells good! You are the best,” Kara called out as they walked in the door and she stopped to take her shoes off and help Lori do the same. They had gotten a little dirty at the park and she knew that Lena would have her head if they tracked dirt all the way through the house.

She didn’t get any kind of response to her greeting so she followed Lori who was already heading into the kitchen in search of her mother. There she found Lena standing in front of the kitchen window, with her back to the window, hands on her hips, and an eyebrow raised.

It was clear she was about to say something but she softened when Lori ran up to her and instead took her hands off her hips and leaned down to pick Lori up, immediately turning to the window and pointing at the new additions.

“Lori, what’s that?”

With no hesitation and lots of excitement, “chick’n!”

“Right. Chickens. Do you know why there’s chickens in our yard?”

“My chick’ns. No eat.” Clearly done with this conversation, Lori wiggled to get down and then headed over to the patio door where with the help of a nearby step stool she flipped the lock and headed outside and was immediately surrounded by animals that abandoned their post at the window in favor of playing with their favorite little half alien human.

Neither of them stopped her, knowing full well that she would be safe outside with all her guardians so Kara just turned towards Lena with a sheepish look.

“Um okay, so. I can explain.”

“I sure hope so,” Lena replied as she went back to stirring the eggs and flipping the bacon before it all burned.

“Okay first, I’d like to let it be known that it wasn’t _really_ my fault this time. It was our daughters so you can’t completely blame it on me.”

“Uh huh.”

“So I know you were talking about how none of the stores had any good tomatoes lately so I thought I’d take Lori down to the farmers market since we were already going to be out doing some stuff for Alex and it went great, I guess she didn’t remember the last time we went which makes sense, it has been a while. She liked going to different stalls and looking at everything and all that then we almost got out of there when she spotted this last guy who was selling fresh eggs and he had two chickens running around in a little fenced in area next to him. Of course, Lori immediately wanted to pet them and he seemed nice enough so we headed over there to see if they were friendly enough to pet, if not I figured it would be a good lesson on respecting people and animal’s personal space, you know?”

Lena just hummed as she went back and forth between the eggs and the bacon and the pancakes.

“We get close to the table just as he starts talking to this other guy and he’s kind of joking around but not really and he says that they weren’t laying eggs very well so he was selling them off and said they would make a nice dinner. And it took Lori a minute, she just stopped and kinda stared at the man and the chickens and I could just see the wheels turning and then her eyes went wide and she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and now we have two pet chickens. Well technically they are hens but trying to explain the difference to a two year old didn’t go well so they are chickens.”

“I see,” was all Lena said as she started loading up plates of food to take over to the table. “Can you tell Lori to come back in and eat.”

Kara worried her bottom lip between her teeth but went and extracted Lori from the animal pile and brought her in while still keeping the animals outside for the time being. Lori went off to the bathroom to wash her hands and then climbed up into her booster seat, hungrily looking at the stack of pancakes in middle of the table.

“Are you mad? About the chickens?” Kara asked a few minutes later after Lena still hadn’t said anything even once they started eating.

“No… Just, chickens? Really?”

“I’m sorry, I just couldn’t say no to her.”

“I’m surprised though, you would think they wouldn’t get along with the rest of the animals. I thought cats and dogs usually tried to-” Lena paused and looked at Lori then made a chomping gesture with her hands that Lori didn’t pay attention to. “-chickens.”

“I don’t know. I just told Krypto when we came back earlier after the farmers market that the chickens were friends not food and I guess he’s been keeping an eye on them? He’s very smart and the other dogs just follow his lead. As for the cats, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but they are kind of lazy and pampered. Chasing chickens is probably beneath them and plus they are kind of intimidated by Krypto.”

“The chickens don’t seem to mind them either.”

“Those chickens fear nothing.” Kara’s eyes glazed over like she was remembering something unpleasant and Lena suddenly wondered how Kara was able to get them home since they only owned a small pet carrier for the cats and she didn’t think one chicken would fit in there, let alone two.

On second thought, maybe she didn’t want to know.

“Two conditions,” Lena said a few minutes after conversation had lulled while Kara and Lori were busy shoving food in their mouths.

“Anything.”

“One, I get to name one of them.” Kara smiled as it reminded her of the time she brought the two pitbull puppies home. “And two, they don’t come in the house. They are outside chickens. I don’t want feathers and poop all over the house, understand?”

“Absolutely. Have I told you lately that you are the best wife ever?”

“Yes, but feel free to keep saying it.”

Later that night, Kara stayed up late researching how to build a chicken coop and general chicken care. It was more involved than she thought but by the time she finally went to sleep, she had a plan of how to build a simple chicken coop for them to live in.

Unfortunately the next morning, she had to go to work so she didn’t get to work on her plans until she came home that evening to find Lena sitting in the hammock in the sunroom, enjoying a glass of wine.

“Hey, you. How was your day?”

“Eventful and a little tiring but good over all. You?” Lena said as she scooted over so that Kara could climb in beside her.

“About the same. Where’s Lori? Has Alex not dropped her off yet?”

“She’s playing in the chicken coop.”

“Oh, okay… Wait.” Kara tried to turn around to scan the yard, nearly dumping them both out of the hammock but it didn’t take her long to notice the chicken “coop”.

It was less of a “coop” and more of a house.

Slowly, this time so she didn’t disturb the hammock too much, Kara turned to Lena. “Babe, that thing might be fancier than my old apartment.”

Lena just shrugged with a smile on her lips and leaned into her wife’s side.

Of course she had done her research too. She never thought she would own chickens but she never thought she would have this kind of life either so she just went with it and since she was absolutely sticking to her no chickens in the house rule, she found the best coop she could on such short notice. It was probably overkill for two chickens but they would be the most pampered chickens around.

Plus, knowing her wife and apparently her daughter now too, it probably wouldn’t be two chickens for very long.

Though, if Lori started bringing home strays too, they were going to need a bigger house.

* * *

 

Billy never understood why his cousin Larry gave up being a hitman and moved down south to be a farmer. Being a hitman wasn’t all fun and games and sure it wasn’t exactly ethically sound but it had to be better than deal with cow pies and whatever other gross stuff happened on a farm.

All he knew was that it had something to do with the Luthor heiress and that he should stay away from her but when was contacted by someone who was definitely not Lillian Luthor who wanted him to get rid of the heiress and deliver her kid to her and was willing to pay an insane amount of money, he couldn’t say no to it.

Until he went to scope out the place, to see what he was dealing with and found himself face to face with seven angry dogs, three threatening looking cats with sharp claws, and two pissed off crazy chickens.

He probably could have handled the dogs, he probably could have handled the cats but when those chickens came after him with their feathers puffed up, long claws scratching angrily at the dirt, and sharp beaks snapping at him, and an absolutely crazy look in their eyes, he took off and never looked back.

As soon as he felt he was far enough away- on the other side of the city- he called his cousin.

“Holy fucking shit, Larry just oh my god. Sorry, sorry. Just hey, do you have chickens on your farm? No? Any other large bird? No? Good. Christ man, you were right. You got the right idea moving out there. Need some help on that farm of yours? I gotta get outta this town and away from this life, I can’t do this anymore.”

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this wasn't supposed to happen at all, I swear. But there's a picture going around on Tumblr of a dog, a cat, and two chickens staring into someones kitchen and I really wanted to include that here and then it Lena got all sappy and happy and this ended up being way longer that what I was envisioning but oh well, can't really complain about that.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed it! As always you can find, and are welcome to come talk to, me on tumblr at hallow777.tumblr.com


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